Emotional Intelligence – Suggestion for a Self-assessment Exercise

Here’s an exercise I sometimes use in workshops, or as part of a coaching intervention.  I think that,  if completed candidly, it forms a good basis for some self-directed self-development!

Category Positive Behavioural Indicators Negative Behavioural Indicators Self-assessment
Empathy Share similar experiences

Acknowledge and respect feelings

Discuss possible solutions

Being constructive

Agreement of the situation

Dismissive of problems

Patronising

Ignoring the issue

‘Pull yourself together’ approach

 
Positivity Flexible

Motivated

Confident

Reflective

‘Can do’ approach

Willing to do new things

Enthusiasm

Willing to challenge when appropriate

Constructive/realistic

‘Can’t do, won’t do’

Unrealistic

Domineering

Unaware of limitations

Over assertive

 

 
Openness Approachable

Willing to listen

Non-judgemental

Honesty

Willing to give people time

Receptive to new ideas

Acceptance of constructive criticism

Consistent and fair

Too direct

Risk of being taken advantage of

Taken for granted

Erosion of authority

Time management issues

 
Personal Self-Awareness Manage own stress levels

Home/work balance

Recognise own weaknesses and take action

Recognise strengths and use them to the full

Recognise own needs

Realistic assessment of own abilities

Recognise own influence on others

Too concerned with own needs

Unrealistic assessment of own abilities

Too self-focused

Inability to see own influence on others

 
Social Self-Awareness Being able to respond to others

Using own status appropriately

Approachable

Sensitive to individuals’/ team workload

Overstepping the mark

Oversensitive to individuals and personal influence on them

Over-friendly and personal

Too status-focused

 
Confidence Accept challenge

Leadership

Willingness to speak up

Accept criticism

Challenge appropriately

Too big for boots

Too overpowering

Unrealistic assessment of own abilities

 
Motivation Maintains focus on tasks

Engages others

‘Can do’ approach

Overcomes obstacles

Achieves targets

Little energy

Sits on fence

‘Can’t do’ approach

Puts up obstacles

Achieves little

 

 

 

Emotional Expression Friendly behaviour

Open to others

Good eye-contact

Appropriate body language

Puts people at ease

Appropriate expression of feelings

Unfriendly/overfriendly

Closed to others

Too open to others

Wears heart on sleeve

Bottles up feelings

Temper tantrums

Crying

Aggression

Inappropriate laughter

Blaming

Putting people on the spot

 
Social Awareness Dressing appropriately

Encouraging others to have a view

Language matches the occasion

Showing consideration for others

Showing an interest in others

Dressing inappropriately

Hogging centre of attention

Using wrong language for the occasion

Lack of consideration

Bull in a china shop

Being self-absorbed

Not reading body language

 
Emotional Balance Acknowledging feelings appropriately

Identify appropriate outlet for emotion

Retaining control

Expressing reaction to a situation …

Constructive and positive

Overly controlled

Displaying emotion innapropriately

 
Assertiveness Create opportunities to put point across

Retain control where appropriate

Ability to assess right time to put point across

Ability to stand ground

Aggression

Stifling debate

Not contributing on behalf of self or organization

Too assertive – may equal arrogance

 

 
Self-Reliance Sees the wider picture

Get on with the job

Being resourceful

Self organization

Manage own time

Exclude others

Don’t accept help when required

Insular – can be perceived as inapproachable

Put self in danger

 
Pressure Performance Responds well to deadlines

Maintains enthusiasm for the task

Prioritising

Delegates

Maintains perspective

Thinking on feet

Lack of attention to quality

Inability to think clearly – flustered

Makes mistakes

Blames others

‘Brick wall’

 

 

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About theknowledgebiz
Carl Taylor Born in London, my early career spanned research in marine science, corporate strategic planning, internal consultancy and new ventures development - all within the Shell International Group of Companies. Following my assignment in new ventures, I took an 18 month sabbatical and ran a business development agency. This opened my eyes to the realities of leading and managing a non-corporate small enterprise and in recognition of my efforts I was granted the Freedom of the City of London in 1990. On returning to the corporate fold, I was instrumental in leading the development of a Shell/Philips joint venture. In 1990 I made the decision to move into independent working and have provided consultancy, executive coaching and leadership programmes to an extensive client list. I live in Kent, England. Scarlett Taylor (one of Carl's daughters) - I love horses and my contribution is the Punki Ponies Blog which I wrote when I was seven years old.

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