Emotional Intelligence – Suggestion for a Self-assessment Exercise

Here’s an exercise I sometimes use in workshops, or as part of a coaching intervention.  I think that,  if completed candidly, it forms a good basis for some self-directed self-development!

Category	Positive Behavioural Indicators	Negative Behavioural Indicators	Self-assessment
Empathy	Share similar experiences Acknowledge and respect feelings Discuss possible solutions Being constructive Agreement of the situation	Dismissive of problems Patronising Ignoring the issue ‘Pull yourself together’ approach
Positivity	Flexible Motivated Confident Reflective ‘Can do’ approach Willing to do new things Enthusiasm Willing to challenge when appropriate Constructive/realistic	‘Can’t do, won’t do’ Unrealistic Domineering Unaware of limitations Over assertive
Openness	Approachable Willing to listen Non-judgemental Honesty Willing to give people time Receptive to new ideas Acceptance of constructive criticism Consistent and fair	Too direct Risk of being taken advantage of Taken for granted Erosion of authority Time management issues
Personal Self-Awareness	Manage own stress levels Home/work balance Recognise own weaknesses and take action Recognise strengths and use them to the full Recognise own needs Realistic assessment of own abilities Recognise own influence on others	Too concerned with own needs Unrealistic assessment of own abilities Too self-focused Inability to see own influence on others
Social Self-Awareness	Being able to respond to others Using own status appropriately Approachable Sensitive to individuals’/ team workload	Overstepping the mark Oversensitive to individuals and personal influence on them Over-friendly and personal Too status-focused
Confidence	Accept challenge Leadership Willingness to speak up Accept criticism Challenge appropriately	Too big for boots Too overpowering Unrealistic assessment of own abilities
Motivation	Maintains focus on tasks Engages others ‘Can do’ approach Overcomes obstacles Achieves targets	Little energy Sits on fence ‘Can’t do’ approach Puts up obstacles Achieves little

 

Emotional Expression	Friendly behaviour Open to others Good eye-contact Appropriate body language Puts people at ease Appropriate expression of feelings	Unfriendly/overfriendly Closed to others Too open to others Wears heart on sleeve Bottles up feelings Temper tantrums Crying Aggression Inappropriate laughter Blaming Putting people on the spot
Social Awareness	Dressing appropriately Encouraging others to have a view Language matches the occasion Showing consideration for others Showing an interest in others	Dressing inappropriately Hogging centre of attention Using wrong language for the occasion Lack of consideration Bull in a china shop Being self-absorbed Not reading body language
Emotional Balance	Acknowledging feelings appropriately Identify appropriate outlet for emotion Retaining control Expressing reaction to a situation … Constructive and positive	Overly controlled Displaying emotion innapropriately
Assertiveness	Create opportunities to put point across Retain control where appropriate Ability to assess right time to put point across Ability to stand ground	Aggression Stifling debate Not contributing on behalf of self or organization Too assertive – may equal arrogance
Self-Reliance	Sees the wider picture Get on with the job Being resourceful Self organization Manage own time	Exclude others Don’t accept help when required Insular – can be perceived as inapproachable Put self in danger
Pressure Performance	Responds well to deadlines Maintains enthusiasm for the task Prioritising Delegates Maintains perspective Thinking on feet	Lack of attention to quality Inability to think clearly – flustered Makes mistakes Blames others ‘Brick wall’

 

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